Everyone please read the book Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff.
Its a huge part of this blog.
Can you remember the first time you ever felt shame?
I can.
I was a pretty free-spirited kid, not giving much thought to what others were thinking of me.
During the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade, I fell out of a bunkbed at church camp and smashed up my face.
No, really. I did.
I broke my orbital bone (which is the one directly under you eye, and in my case, my right eye).
Its a crazzzzy long story, but basically, the muscle got caught in the broken bone and swelled to 30 times its size. Yeah, ouch. So they performed surgery, but it had been without bloodflow for over 36 hours, which could cause some serious lasting effects. This resulted in double vision, astigmatism, and my eyesight was shot. All of these could be fixed with the proper pair of glasses or contacts. But, my muscle's swelling wouldn't go down. So they turned to steriods. I took seven pills a day for more than six months. All i really remember is my mother hiding them in my pudding or yogurt, and me feeling completely betrayed once I realized she'd tricked me.
Of course, I gained ridiculous amounts of weight. And had to wear an eyepatch to school of my right eye and glasses due to my double vision.
I honestly didn't think much of it.
That year, my little sister was a kindergartner and my little brother a first grader.
We Reddings are tight, so when we see eachother in the hallways, we hug and ask each other how our days are going, what we had for lunch, which teacher assigned a million math problems for homework, etc.
So, naturally, when I saw my little brother walking down the hallway, we ran to each other for a quick hugdate (yes, I just created a word combining 'hug' and 'upadte'. It seemed appropriate).
"Ew, he just hugged the fat, eyepatch girl."
There you go, folks. A random comment from a kid in my little brothers first grade class.
It shattered me.
I felt miniscule and huge at the same time.
I felt ridiculed and embarrassed.
But mainly, I felt ashamed of myself.
and for my poor siblings who were associated with me.
Remember in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve hid from God?
Remember what they said when He asked why they were hiding?
"We were ashamed of our nakedness."
And how did God reply?
"You idiots! Of course you're naked, I made you that way! It's not like I haven't seen you naked before. Sheesh. I mean, really guys. This is ridiculous."
Honestly, I kinda smile when I think about God talking that way.
But anyways, what He really said was,
"Who told you that you were naked?"
There was a sadness in God's voice when He had to ask this question, I just know it.
Here was His beautiful creation, whom He'd made so carefully and loved more than imagination, and it was ashamed of itself. Think about how much that hurt Him.
Who told you that you were not enough?
Who told you that I didn't love you?
Who told you that there was something outside of Me that you needed?
Who told you that you were ugly?
Who told you that your dream was foolish?
Who told you that you would never have child?
Who told you that you would never be a father?
Who told you that weren't a good mother?
Who told you that without a job you aren't worth anything?
Who told you that you'll never know love again?
Who told you that THIS was all there was?
Who told you that you were naked?
God is still asking that question.
And he's still asking us because we haven't given him the right answer.
Because,
In Christ, we are not worthless.
In Christ, we are not hopeless.
In Christ, we are not dumb or ugly or forgotten.
In Christ, we are not naked.
For he has clothed me with the garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness. -Isaiah 61:10
You are not naked.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Madly In Love With You by Sean McConnell
Hi. This song is a letter written to YOU from your Father.
It makes me cry everytime I hear it.
Just read.
And listen.
(I do both, which I highly recommend.)
I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of ladder to the sky
Trying to find some way to see
The secrets of eternity, and they don’t come all at once
And you don’t know why
Well how do you think it feels to hear you screaming out My name
When all the while I’m trying to open up your heart
See you when you cry yourself to sleep
It’s tearing Me apart
I know you wish you could see me
That’s the way it has to be
Someday you will understand, but
don’t you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me, and
Sometimes it’s so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says,
"I’m madly in love with you."
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
I know that you’re waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, if only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away
But I cannot count on all the signs
You’ve passed away as mere coincidence
And im running out of ways to break through
Like a lonely lover, Waiting by the ocean
Ill never give up on you
I know you wish you could see me
That’s the way it has to be
Someday you’ll understand,
Don’t you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it’s so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says,
"I’m madly in love with you."
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
He's madly MADLY madly in love with you.
Confused?
Here, I'll let someone alot smarter than me help you.
"Honey, let me tell you one of the reasons that it makes no sense to you. It's because you have such a small view of what it means to be human. You and this creation are incredible, whether you understand that or not. You are wonderful beyond imagination. Just because you make horrendous and destructive choices does not make you deserve less respect for what you inherently are- the pinnacle of My creation and the center of My affection."
-Papa, (character created by Wm. Paul Young as God in The Shack.)
I don't know about you guys, but whenever I'm watching tv or a movie and there's this guy thats helplessly in love with this girl but she just wont give him a chance, I root for him. Literally, cheer.
Granted, the Big Man is alot more important than this, but I have a point.
Here it is.
God is helplessly and recklessly in love with you and there is nothing that you could ever possibly do to change that.
Why haven't you given Him a chance?
It makes me cry everytime I hear it.
Just read.
And listen.
(I do both, which I highly recommend.)
I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of ladder to the sky
Trying to find some way to see
The secrets of eternity, and they don’t come all at once
And you don’t know why
Well how do you think it feels to hear you screaming out My name
When all the while I’m trying to open up your heart
See you when you cry yourself to sleep
It’s tearing Me apart
I know you wish you could see me
That’s the way it has to be
Someday you will understand, but
don’t you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me, and
Sometimes it’s so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says,
"I’m madly in love with you."
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
I know that you’re waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, if only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away
But I cannot count on all the signs
You’ve passed away as mere coincidence
And im running out of ways to break through
Like a lonely lover, Waiting by the ocean
Ill never give up on you
I know you wish you could see me
That’s the way it has to be
Someday you’ll understand,
Don’t you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it’s so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says,
"I’m madly in love with you."
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
Yes I’m madly in love with you
He's madly MADLY madly in love with you.
Confused?
Here, I'll let someone alot smarter than me help you.
"Honey, let me tell you one of the reasons that it makes no sense to you. It's because you have such a small view of what it means to be human. You and this creation are incredible, whether you understand that or not. You are wonderful beyond imagination. Just because you make horrendous and destructive choices does not make you deserve less respect for what you inherently are- the pinnacle of My creation and the center of My affection."
-Papa, (character created by Wm. Paul Young as God in The Shack.)
I don't know about you guys, but whenever I'm watching tv or a movie and there's this guy thats helplessly in love with this girl but she just wont give him a chance, I root for him. Literally, cheer.
Granted, the Big Man is alot more important than this, but I have a point.
Here it is.
God is helplessly and recklessly in love with you and there is nothing that you could ever possibly do to change that.
Why haven't you given Him a chance?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Overcome by Desperation Band
First off: hockey games are awesome.
Secondly: my best friends are the greaaaatest.
3rd: peaches.
I love Brandon Heath. If you've never listened to him before, please do. He's fantastic.
WARNING: THIS IS ABOUT TO GET REALLY PERSONAL. ITS MY TESTIMONY. K? K.
This song is a song that I honestly believe God had written with me in mind. No, seriously.
I came into highschool in a state of what I like to call "pure ignorance". It was not a bad thing. Many nights I've cried myself to sleep, wishing I could go back to feeling that way. I've even had one friend who witnessed the horrible ordeal remark, "I just miss the Camille that I became best friends with when we were 14. She glowed. Her confidence was palpable. She drew people to her. I miss her."
(Ouchhhh.)
It made me think, though.
And he was right.
I was different.
I worked at a summer camp the summer before freshman year. I was there for three weeks (represent Woodlands Camp!). I can honestly say it was one of the best summers of my life. I came into highschool full of God's joy and extremely prepared for anything God planned on throwing my way. Hah. No.
See, I'd never had trouble with boys. Why? They'd just never liked me. But I never cared. I was too busy with friends and youth group and teaching sunday school classes and soccer and school and a MILLION other things.
Freshman year changed that. I got my first boyfriend. And he was pretty awesome, haha. I also got a cellphone that year. And unlimited texting. And I just fell into this pattern.
Wake up. Text. School. Text. Home. Text. Phone call. Text. Sleep. Etc.
I got caught up in everything around me. And forgot.
I knew I was neglecting the God that I had so pursued just months before. But I also thought (being the key word here) that I was in love and happy and whateverrrr. I never even kissed the guy, so I guess I thought I was making up for my mistakes by not making worse ones. Life was bliss... Until God decided to wake me up.
I don't want to go into the details. It's doesn't matter anymore. If you're reading this, I've totally forgiven you. I'm not bringing it up to upset you. But this is a major part in my story.
It ended. And it was ugly. And my heart shattered. You think I'm exaggerating? Ask any of my best friends. They'll tell you. I was a wreck.
And then I did the worst possible thing that I could've done. I blamed God.
This is obviously His fault. I'd given Him my life, and He'd decided to ruin it through this to get back at me. He didn't care. He was spiteful. And so was I.
So I faked it. I faked that I was okay. I faked it at church. I faked at school. I faked it with my friends. I even faked it with my family. I thought I was so smart. I even had myself fooled. I thought I had God fooled. After all, I'm the one who had her heart broken. I'm the one that had to deal with the pain of trying to put it back together.
That summer was the worst summer of my life.
I was bitter. Cynical. Even cruel, especially to those who cared about me and tried to help. I'm sorry guys. Really.
And then I decided to go back to Woodlands and work again before school started. I had an awesome time. But I never really let anything seep into my heart. Until the last night. We had this night of worship. And they played this song.
I can't explain the feeling. But it hurt. All over. And I couldn't figure out why I was hurting. I had built walls to protect myself from this. I had promised myself I'd never heart like that again. I was too strong for this.
I was wrong.
Thats the night that I realized something.
You know when you break a bone, your body immediately starts to fuse the bones together? Often times, doctors have to re-break bones because the bones had tried to go back together, but had done so incorrectly.
I tried to put my heart back together myself.
And failed miserably.
But Jesus. My Jesus cared so deeply for me and wanted my heart beating regularly again that He did what He had to do.
He re-broke it.
And it hurt like you wouldn't believe.
It was then that I gave up. I was tired. I was so tired of faking it. I was so tired of working so hard to make my heart work when it wasn't actually fixed. And I just let Him hold me all night. And He put it back together.
Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned, but suffered as if he did
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever, awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame
Power in hand, speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever, awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
And thats it.
Nah, I'm just kidding. :) Jesus is still putting my heart together everytime I let it crack. But each time He's taught me a lesson that I needed. And I'm sure He's gonna do it again. But I know its because He loves me.
So if any of you have walls up for any reason, whether it be similar to mine or completely different, listen for a second.
Let them fall.
I cannot even begin to explain the sweet reunion you'll experience with your Savior once you do. It changed my life. And I will forever testify.
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? -Matthew 6:26.
You mean more than a sparrow.
Than all of the sparrows that have ever lived.
And yet, He watches out for them.
Can you not see how much He cares for you?
Open your eyes.
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
Secondly: my best friends are the greaaaatest.
3rd: peaches.
I love Brandon Heath. If you've never listened to him before, please do. He's fantastic.
WARNING: THIS IS ABOUT TO GET REALLY PERSONAL. ITS MY TESTIMONY. K? K.
This song is a song that I honestly believe God had written with me in mind. No, seriously.
I came into highschool in a state of what I like to call "pure ignorance". It was not a bad thing. Many nights I've cried myself to sleep, wishing I could go back to feeling that way. I've even had one friend who witnessed the horrible ordeal remark, "I just miss the Camille that I became best friends with when we were 14. She glowed. Her confidence was palpable. She drew people to her. I miss her."
(Ouchhhh.)
It made me think, though.
And he was right.
I was different.
I worked at a summer camp the summer before freshman year. I was there for three weeks (represent Woodlands Camp!). I can honestly say it was one of the best summers of my life. I came into highschool full of God's joy and extremely prepared for anything God planned on throwing my way. Hah. No.
See, I'd never had trouble with boys. Why? They'd just never liked me. But I never cared. I was too busy with friends and youth group and teaching sunday school classes and soccer and school and a MILLION other things.
Freshman year changed that. I got my first boyfriend. And he was pretty awesome, haha. I also got a cellphone that year. And unlimited texting. And I just fell into this pattern.
Wake up. Text. School. Text. Home. Text. Phone call. Text. Sleep. Etc.
I got caught up in everything around me. And forgot.
I knew I was neglecting the God that I had so pursued just months before. But I also thought (being the key word here) that I was in love and happy and whateverrrr. I never even kissed the guy, so I guess I thought I was making up for my mistakes by not making worse ones. Life was bliss... Until God decided to wake me up.
I don't want to go into the details. It's doesn't matter anymore. If you're reading this, I've totally forgiven you. I'm not bringing it up to upset you. But this is a major part in my story.
It ended. And it was ugly. And my heart shattered. You think I'm exaggerating? Ask any of my best friends. They'll tell you. I was a wreck.
And then I did the worst possible thing that I could've done. I blamed God.
This is obviously His fault. I'd given Him my life, and He'd decided to ruin it through this to get back at me. He didn't care. He was spiteful. And so was I.
So I faked it. I faked that I was okay. I faked it at church. I faked at school. I faked it with my friends. I even faked it with my family. I thought I was so smart. I even had myself fooled. I thought I had God fooled. After all, I'm the one who had her heart broken. I'm the one that had to deal with the pain of trying to put it back together.
That summer was the worst summer of my life.
I was bitter. Cynical. Even cruel, especially to those who cared about me and tried to help. I'm sorry guys. Really.
And then I decided to go back to Woodlands and work again before school started. I had an awesome time. But I never really let anything seep into my heart. Until the last night. We had this night of worship. And they played this song.
I can't explain the feeling. But it hurt. All over. And I couldn't figure out why I was hurting. I had built walls to protect myself from this. I had promised myself I'd never heart like that again. I was too strong for this.
I was wrong.
Thats the night that I realized something.
You know when you break a bone, your body immediately starts to fuse the bones together? Often times, doctors have to re-break bones because the bones had tried to go back together, but had done so incorrectly.
I tried to put my heart back together myself.
And failed miserably.
But Jesus. My Jesus cared so deeply for me and wanted my heart beating regularly again that He did what He had to do.
He re-broke it.
And it hurt like you wouldn't believe.
It was then that I gave up. I was tired. I was so tired of faking it. I was so tired of working so hard to make my heart work when it wasn't actually fixed. And I just let Him hold me all night. And He put it back together.
Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned, but suffered as if he did
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever, awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame
Power in hand, speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever, awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
And thats it.
Nah, I'm just kidding. :) Jesus is still putting my heart together everytime I let it crack. But each time He's taught me a lesson that I needed. And I'm sure He's gonna do it again. But I know its because He loves me.
So if any of you have walls up for any reason, whether it be similar to mine or completely different, listen for a second.
Let them fall.
I cannot even begin to explain the sweet reunion you'll experience with your Savior once you do. It changed my life. And I will forever testify.
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? -Matthew 6:26.
You mean more than a sparrow.
Than all of the sparrows that have ever lived.
And yet, He watches out for them.
Can you not see how much He cares for you?
Open your eyes.
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Your Love Is My Drug by KE$HA
Hello (:
First off, I'd like to apologize. I haven't done this in quite a while. But, I had good reasons... (a failing Chemistry grade, if you must know). And the school play had kinda taken over my life.
BUT-I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS.
No more school.
That's right.
I'm a Senior.
Holy cow, that's strange.
Anywho.
Summer's here and the livin is easy.
(:
Now, you might think that this song choice is incorrect.
But seriously. It works, just hold on.
(Before you continue reading, YES I know parts of this song are innapropriate. Get over it. It's catchy. I like it.)
Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seein it in my dreams
I'm lookin down every alley
I'm makin those desperate calls
I'm stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall
Yes, I know she's singing about a boy.
But can you, just for a second, imagine looking at God's love this way?
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!
Man. This girl is OBSESSED.
Can you imagine what it would be like if we allowed God's love to consume us like this?
Its ridiculous that our world focuses this much on members of the opposite sex. Just picture a place where that attention was directed upward.
My friends think ive gone crazy
Your friends should think you've gone crazy. To fully embrace God's love and let it take over everything you do makes you "crazy" according to today's society.
So go ahead.
Go crazy.
Think about it.
I'm gonna go dance around in my room to this song.
Bye (:
First off, I'd like to apologize. I haven't done this in quite a while. But, I had good reasons... (a failing Chemistry grade, if you must know). And the school play had kinda taken over my life.
BUT-I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS.
No more school.
That's right.
I'm a Senior.
Holy cow, that's strange.
Anywho.
Summer's here and the livin is easy.
(:
Now, you might think that this song choice is incorrect.
But seriously. It works, just hold on.
(Before you continue reading, YES I know parts of this song are innapropriate. Get over it. It's catchy. I like it.)
Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seein it in my dreams
I'm lookin down every alley
I'm makin those desperate calls
I'm stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall
Yes, I know she's singing about a boy.
But can you, just for a second, imagine looking at God's love this way?
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!
Man. This girl is OBSESSED.
Can you imagine what it would be like if we allowed God's love to consume us like this?
Its ridiculous that our world focuses this much on members of the opposite sex. Just picture a place where that attention was directed upward.
My friends think ive gone crazy
Your friends should think you've gone crazy. To fully embrace God's love and let it take over everything you do makes you "crazy" according to today's society.
So go ahead.
Go crazy.
Think about it.
I'm gonna go dance around in my room to this song.
Bye (:
Sunday, April 4, 2010
By His Wounds by Glory Revealed
Thank you, Jesus.
There's no other way to say it.
I sincerely hope you guys all remembered why today is celebrated.
It's not "Get up and go to church!" Day.
Nor is it "Wear your cutest dress!" Day.
I wish people would get this excited about Jesus everyday.
I'm not saying that I do.
Lord knows I've got alot to work on.
It'd just be nice.
I love you, Jesus.
Thank you for loving me enough.
He was pierced for our trangresssions,
He was crushed for our sin,
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him.
And by His wounds,
By His wounds
we are healed.
There's no other way to say it.
I sincerely hope you guys all remembered why today is celebrated.
It's not "Get up and go to church!" Day.
Nor is it "Wear your cutest dress!" Day.
I wish people would get this excited about Jesus everyday.
I'm not saying that I do.
Lord knows I've got alot to work on.
It'd just be nice.
I love you, Jesus.
Thank you for loving me enough.
He was pierced for our trangresssions,
He was crushed for our sin,
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him.
And by His wounds,
By His wounds
we are healed.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
You Are the Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne
Yeahhh I changed my mind. I can't help it.
I honestly don't know how to write a blog about this song. All I know is... it just makes me feel so good. Seriously, when I hear it, I'm automatically happier. Not many things work that well for me. So when I find something that does, (and this song certainly does) I just gotta tell someone. So here it is.
I've decided that being happy should be a bigger priority in my life. I honestly believe that God didn't make me to just be a miserable, sickly girl who hardly found joy in life. I should surround myself with things that make me happy. Now, chemistry is NEVER going to make me happy. (Although I did get an 85 on a quiz today, thank you very much!) That doesnt mean I drop chemistry. I get through it with a better attitude. I listen to happy music while I toil through my homework. I motivate myself with good things, and in the end I'm happy with what I've done.
Music makes me so happy. I can't even tell you how happy it makes me, especially when I'm performing something beautiful and I can feel it moving around me and through me. (I sing.) Try... A Boy and A Girl by Eric Whitacre. Its breathtakingly beautiful. (Youtube it.) When I sing that... it makes me feel breathtakingly beautiful. And those are rare moments.
A bunch of people in my choir at school are quitting this year. Its the Varsity Ensemble, so I guess they didn't realize that making it into the higher elite choir meant actually working even more than the others. (Or maybe I'm just crazy.) But I couldn't even consider the idea of quitting. I NEED IT. I need that release. If I didn't have it, I'd start randomly singing in classes (even more than I already do) and probably get kicked out of school. I would be known as the annoying girl who wouldn't stop singing and everyone would loathe me. (It could happen to me, you know it could.)
I've listened to the title song about four times now. My lord, it's so wonderful.
Anyway.
Find something that makes you happy. Basketball, algebra, music, etc. Fight for it. And don't let anyone tell you its any less than what else is out there or that their 'thing' is more important or that you're just not good at your 'thing'. Do what you love.
God gives you talent and makes you the perfect way you're supposed to be. I was made to love music. My brother was made to love baseball. My sister was made to love her boyfriend... Haha, sorry I couldn't help myself. Love you, SarahLaine.
You are the best thing,
You are the best thing,
You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Listen to it. I guarantee you'll smile. (:
I honestly don't know how to write a blog about this song. All I know is... it just makes me feel so good. Seriously, when I hear it, I'm automatically happier. Not many things work that well for me. So when I find something that does, (and this song certainly does) I just gotta tell someone. So here it is.
I've decided that being happy should be a bigger priority in my life. I honestly believe that God didn't make me to just be a miserable, sickly girl who hardly found joy in life. I should surround myself with things that make me happy. Now, chemistry is NEVER going to make me happy. (Although I did get an 85 on a quiz today, thank you very much!) That doesnt mean I drop chemistry. I get through it with a better attitude. I listen to happy music while I toil through my homework. I motivate myself with good things, and in the end I'm happy with what I've done.
Music makes me so happy. I can't even tell you how happy it makes me, especially when I'm performing something beautiful and I can feel it moving around me and through me. (I sing.) Try... A Boy and A Girl by Eric Whitacre. Its breathtakingly beautiful. (Youtube it.) When I sing that... it makes me feel breathtakingly beautiful. And those are rare moments.
A bunch of people in my choir at school are quitting this year. Its the Varsity Ensemble, so I guess they didn't realize that making it into the higher elite choir meant actually working even more than the others. (Or maybe I'm just crazy.) But I couldn't even consider the idea of quitting. I NEED IT. I need that release. If I didn't have it, I'd start randomly singing in classes (even more than I already do) and probably get kicked out of school. I would be known as the annoying girl who wouldn't stop singing and everyone would loathe me. (It could happen to me, you know it could.)
I've listened to the title song about four times now. My lord, it's so wonderful.
Anyway.
Find something that makes you happy. Basketball, algebra, music, etc. Fight for it. And don't let anyone tell you its any less than what else is out there or that their 'thing' is more important or that you're just not good at your 'thing'. Do what you love.
God gives you talent and makes you the perfect way you're supposed to be. I was made to love music. My brother was made to love baseball. My sister was made to love her boyfriend... Haha, sorry I couldn't help myself. Love you, SarahLaine.
You are the best thing,
You are the best thing,
You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Listen to it. I guarantee you'll smile. (:
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I AM by Ginny Owens
Ever feel like you're just too small, too flawed, too insignificant for God to truly use? Don't fret. You're in good company.
No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy,
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied.
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king,
Or could it be I've lost my mind?
Besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long.
And anyway, they wont believe You ever spoke to me.
It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history...
Moses. Moses was a Hebrew, born into slavery. His mother wove a basket, set him into the Nile River, and trusted God. Pharoahs wife found him, drew him from the water, and he became a Prince of Egypt. Then, he found out his true identity. He accidentally murdered an Egyptian soldier for beating a Hebrew slave too harshly. He didn't face his fears and consequences; he ran. A murderering slave that flees from responsibility. And he saved God's chosen people from obliteration.
Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy.
Too small for battle gear, with a giant to destroy.
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling?
It's not your problem, God replied,
'Cause I can do anything...
David. A small, shepherd boy. God used him in extreme ways. He defeated Goliath with a SLING SHOT. I couldn't defeat a squirrel with a sling shot. And after that, David had to hide from Saul and persecution. When he finally did become King, David stumbled numerous tiems with other religions and adultery while his family suffered. You wanna know what he's called? A man after God's own heart. His OWN heart. David did some great things and made some great mistakes. But he always returned to God. His Psalms cry out for forgiveness and mercy, and still touch the lives of millions.
Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl.
You say that I will bring your son into the world.
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do?
It's not your problem, God replied,
For I have chosen you.
Mary. A simple, sweet, faithful girl. She was about fifteen, or maybe sixteen. Younger than I am. And an angel came to tell her she was to carry and give birth to God's son, who would eventually save the world. I can't even imagine. Literally, how does someone react to that? I'd say, WAAAAIT A MINUTE. I'm Camille. Remember? (As if God could have actually forgotten my name or made a mistake.)
These three people thought themselves completely unworthy. And rightfully so, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. -Romans 3:23. Still, God chose these three regular, sinful people to carry out some of his greatest works. Moses parted the Red Sea. David used his problems to write Psalms that are still true today. And Mary brought God's son into the world, His greatest work.
Don't think for one second that God can't use you.
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
There's a bigger picture you can't see,
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me,
'Cause I am your Creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them I AM.
God uses even the most insignificant people. Trust me, I would know.
No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy,
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied.
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king,
Or could it be I've lost my mind?
Besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long.
And anyway, they wont believe You ever spoke to me.
It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history...
Moses. Moses was a Hebrew, born into slavery. His mother wove a basket, set him into the Nile River, and trusted God. Pharoahs wife found him, drew him from the water, and he became a Prince of Egypt. Then, he found out his true identity. He accidentally murdered an Egyptian soldier for beating a Hebrew slave too harshly. He didn't face his fears and consequences; he ran. A murderering slave that flees from responsibility. And he saved God's chosen people from obliteration.
Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy.
Too small for battle gear, with a giant to destroy.
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling?
It's not your problem, God replied,
'Cause I can do anything...
David. A small, shepherd boy. God used him in extreme ways. He defeated Goliath with a SLING SHOT. I couldn't defeat a squirrel with a sling shot. And after that, David had to hide from Saul and persecution. When he finally did become King, David stumbled numerous tiems with other religions and adultery while his family suffered. You wanna know what he's called? A man after God's own heart. His OWN heart. David did some great things and made some great mistakes. But he always returned to God. His Psalms cry out for forgiveness and mercy, and still touch the lives of millions.
Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl.
You say that I will bring your son into the world.
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do?
It's not your problem, God replied,
For I have chosen you.
Mary. A simple, sweet, faithful girl. She was about fifteen, or maybe sixteen. Younger than I am. And an angel came to tell her she was to carry and give birth to God's son, who would eventually save the world. I can't even imagine. Literally, how does someone react to that? I'd say, WAAAAIT A MINUTE. I'm Camille. Remember? (As if God could have actually forgotten my name or made a mistake.)
These three people thought themselves completely unworthy. And rightfully so, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. -Romans 3:23. Still, God chose these three regular, sinful people to carry out some of his greatest works. Moses parted the Red Sea. David used his problems to write Psalms that are still true today. And Mary brought God's son into the world, His greatest work.
Don't think for one second that God can't use you.
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
There's a bigger picture you can't see,
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me,
'Cause I am your Creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them I AM.
God uses even the most insignificant people. Trust me, I would know.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli
First off, I'd like to apologize for this being a whole week late. It's been a bit hectic with homework and life the past couple weeks. Don't hate me.
Secondly, I've decided not to name this blog until I get done with it because I can't think of anything good at the moment.
I just spent the weekend at Gatlinburg as a highschool leader for middle school students in my youth group. Best weekend I've had in a very, very long time. (Shout out to Noonday!) The basis of the message this weekend was about three things: friendship, integrity, and individuality. Ironically enough, my little sister (Mallory is becoming increasingly popular on this blog...) has been struggling with these very three things for a couple of years now. Last weekend, it got really bad though. It's one of the reasons I didn't blog. I was too frustrated to focus. Basically, it was a whole He said-She said scandal, and ended up cooling off. But Mal was hurt, bad. Over something completely blown out of proportion. And I had to watch. And I'm sick of it.
Guys, there are certain things that fundamentally make you YOU. Things that should never change for anyone. For example: I do not drink. I do not smoke. I will remain abstinent until marriage. I am a proud follower of Christ. These decisions make me who I am and represent what I believe, and they're not changing for anything. Sorry.
Sure, I'm a bit crazier with some friends than I am with others. Some work me up, others calm me down. That doesn't mean I'm a different person with them. Different people affect you in different ways. But you do NOT, EVER, change who you are. You think people can't tell? You think they can't see what you're doing? You're not fooling anyone, not even yourself. Come on, guys.
Good lord, I sound hyped up. Forgive me, this is a subject I feel strongly about. Only because I've lived through it. I've lost many a friend by remaining who I was. It breaks my heart, but I know it was the right thing to do. Besides, friends don't love you because they're blind to you flaws. They love you inspite of them.
Aimee's my best friend. Not because she has a car to drive me places, not because her house always has ice cream, but because she and I are twin souls. I honestly can't explain it. On the outside, we're complete opposites. She's athletic. I'm....yeah. She's crazy smart at school. I try. She's shy around new people. I am most definitely not. She loves basketball. I love music. I sing. She...yeah. (Love you Aims =]) But when we hang out, none of that matters. Because we share the same values. We're always bringing each other up. We know who each other are. And we love each other. We could sit around all day, doing nothing, (which we often do), and have a fantastic time. That's the kind of friend you want. The kind that knows you. Not the you that that others may think you to be. The you that you are.
One thing I really admire about Aims is her integrity. No matter who she's around, she sticks to what she believes in. I've seen her do it. She speaks quietly, but firmly, and people get the message. I pray for that strength every day. I pray that if God could give me that strength, my little sister could see it and strive for the same things.
The world is not a positive place these days. Just a few months ago, my mother was at WalMart with my little sister. Mallory, who was looking adorable by the way, was most likely talking to my mom about getting some new clothes. Just then, a girl walked by. She gave Mallory the once over, scrunched her face in disgust, and continued to giggle with her friends about whatever was wrong with my sister. My mom looked at Mallory and asked if she knew the girl from school. "No Mom," Mallory replied, "I've never seen her before in my life. That's just how girls are."
Are you kidding me? A random girl Mal's never even seen before just writes her off completely while walking down the aisle in a freakin WalMart? And Mallory was hardly fazed, she even used an excuse.
The saddest part was the fact that this girls mother was with her. And she didn't do anything. She probably wasn't even paying attention.
Agfa%zgbjkNX*^x9xBasidyfdbhe7af4w9. Excuse me, I just became so angry that I didn't know how to put it into real words, so I made some up. I've just discovered that blogs are a lovely place to rant.
In short, find friends who support you for who you are. There's no way on God's green earth that you'll make it through life without them. If it sounds difficult, I'll tell you how to do it. Theres one easy step.
HOW TO FIND AWESOME FRIENDS THAT LOVE YOU FOR YOU!
Step 1: Be yourself. Others will gravitate towards you.
TADA!
This was a fun blog. I think I'll go watch the Oscars now.
Hey Aims, I thought of a title. Its for you. Thanks for everything (:
PS- I love you, Mallory. Show people who you are. They won't be able to help but feel the same way that I do.
Secondly, I've decided not to name this blog until I get done with it because I can't think of anything good at the moment.
I just spent the weekend at Gatlinburg as a highschool leader for middle school students in my youth group. Best weekend I've had in a very, very long time. (Shout out to Noonday!) The basis of the message this weekend was about three things: friendship, integrity, and individuality. Ironically enough, my little sister (Mallory is becoming increasingly popular on this blog...) has been struggling with these very three things for a couple of years now. Last weekend, it got really bad though. It's one of the reasons I didn't blog. I was too frustrated to focus. Basically, it was a whole He said-She said scandal, and ended up cooling off. But Mal was hurt, bad. Over something completely blown out of proportion. And I had to watch. And I'm sick of it.
Guys, there are certain things that fundamentally make you YOU. Things that should never change for anyone. For example: I do not drink. I do not smoke. I will remain abstinent until marriage. I am a proud follower of Christ. These decisions make me who I am and represent what I believe, and they're not changing for anything. Sorry.
Sure, I'm a bit crazier with some friends than I am with others. Some work me up, others calm me down. That doesn't mean I'm a different person with them. Different people affect you in different ways. But you do NOT, EVER, change who you are. You think people can't tell? You think they can't see what you're doing? You're not fooling anyone, not even yourself. Come on, guys.
Good lord, I sound hyped up. Forgive me, this is a subject I feel strongly about. Only because I've lived through it. I've lost many a friend by remaining who I was. It breaks my heart, but I know it was the right thing to do. Besides, friends don't love you because they're blind to you flaws. They love you inspite of them.
Aimee's my best friend. Not because she has a car to drive me places, not because her house always has ice cream, but because she and I are twin souls. I honestly can't explain it. On the outside, we're complete opposites. She's athletic. I'm....yeah. She's crazy smart at school. I try. She's shy around new people. I am most definitely not. She loves basketball. I love music. I sing. She...yeah. (Love you Aims =]) But when we hang out, none of that matters. Because we share the same values. We're always bringing each other up. We know who each other are. And we love each other. We could sit around all day, doing nothing, (which we often do), and have a fantastic time. That's the kind of friend you want. The kind that knows you. Not the you that that others may think you to be. The you that you are.
One thing I really admire about Aims is her integrity. No matter who she's around, she sticks to what she believes in. I've seen her do it. She speaks quietly, but firmly, and people get the message. I pray for that strength every day. I pray that if God could give me that strength, my little sister could see it and strive for the same things.
The world is not a positive place these days. Just a few months ago, my mother was at WalMart with my little sister. Mallory, who was looking adorable by the way, was most likely talking to my mom about getting some new clothes. Just then, a girl walked by. She gave Mallory the once over, scrunched her face in disgust, and continued to giggle with her friends about whatever was wrong with my sister. My mom looked at Mallory and asked if she knew the girl from school. "No Mom," Mallory replied, "I've never seen her before in my life. That's just how girls are."
Are you kidding me? A random girl Mal's never even seen before just writes her off completely while walking down the aisle in a freakin WalMart? And Mallory was hardly fazed, she even used an excuse.
The saddest part was the fact that this girls mother was with her. And she didn't do anything. She probably wasn't even paying attention.
Agfa%zgbjkNX*^x9xBasidyfdbhe7af4w9. Excuse me, I just became so angry that I didn't know how to put it into real words, so I made some up. I've just discovered that blogs are a lovely place to rant.
In short, find friends who support you for who you are. There's no way on God's green earth that you'll make it through life without them. If it sounds difficult, I'll tell you how to do it. Theres one easy step.
HOW TO FIND AWESOME FRIENDS THAT LOVE YOU FOR YOU!
Step 1: Be yourself. Others will gravitate towards you.
TADA!
This was a fun blog. I think I'll go watch the Oscars now.
Hey Aims, I thought of a title. Its for you. Thanks for everything (:
PS- I love you, Mallory. Show people who you are. They won't be able to help but feel the same way that I do.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Everybody-Ingrid Michaelson
So this past week has been positively delightful. Here in Cherokee County, our schools have this thing called Mid-Winter Break. basically, we get a week off in February for the pure heck of it. It's faaaaantastic. Nothing like relaxing just because you can.
Moving on,
My little sister made a comment in the car last night on the way to Dairy Queen that struck a chord with me. (She'll be reading this later thinking, "whaaat?" Kudos, Mal. You made it into my blog. Feel awesome?) Anyway, we were all discussing what dessert we were going order. Dad always gets one of two things: a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate or a Peanut Buster Parfait. Tonight, he was feelin like a PBF. My mother and I love those as well, so our choice was settled too. Mallory wanted an ice cream float from Rita's. (Yeahh, thats not easily found at your neighborhood Dairy Queen.) So she changed the subject by pointing out that the nail polish on her toenails matched the nail polish on my mother's fingernails, which made my mother point out that her nails matched the color of my father's phone. They all thought this to be truly magical. (No, seriously.) I just sat watching, laughing, and drinking in the sweet chaos of my family when Mallory stopped talking and squeezed my hand, saying, "Camille doesn't match anyone.... Yet."
Everyone just giggled. My mom said she'd paint my nails to match everyone else once we got home. It seemed I was the only one who had caught something deeper in that. Camille doesn't match anyone... Yet. I'd never quite heard it like that before. You see all those commercials for Match.com or ads flashing Let us find your perfect match!, and you cant help but wonder. (Well, at least I can't.) What does it take to be someone's match?
I'm a huge musical fan and PROUD of it. One that I simply adore is Fiddler On The Roof. There's one particular scene where the three sisters are all singing about their perfect (and not so perfect) 'matches'. You know the song... Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find, catch me a catch! ....Well if you didn't know, thats how it goes. I always think of that song when I hear the word 'match'.
The title song choice for this blog is Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson. (If you haven't heard her new album, which is titled Everybody, please go listen to it.) This song puts me in a great mood and makes complete sense.
Everybody, everbody wants to love.
Everybody, everbody wants to be loved.
Oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh.
Hah, I just sang that out loud and my cats looked at me like I'm crazy. I'm sure its only because of how great of a singer I am. (:
So the point of this blog was-So what? So what if you don't match anyone. Maybe you're not supposed to. Keep going as you are. If you change yourself to match someone now, then when your real match comes along, how will they know? (Deep, right?)
So yeah. Everybody wants to love, and everybody wants to be loved, and everybody wants someone who they match. Everybody should just chill, in my opinion. Turn on some good tunes and relax. You'll know when you find your match. Changing doesn't make them come any faster. Promise (: Besides- Playing with matches, a girl could get burned.
Moving on,
My little sister made a comment in the car last night on the way to Dairy Queen that struck a chord with me. (She'll be reading this later thinking, "whaaat?" Kudos, Mal. You made it into my blog. Feel awesome?) Anyway, we were all discussing what dessert we were going order. Dad always gets one of two things: a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate or a Peanut Buster Parfait. Tonight, he was feelin like a PBF. My mother and I love those as well, so our choice was settled too. Mallory wanted an ice cream float from Rita's. (Yeahh, thats not easily found at your neighborhood Dairy Queen.) So she changed the subject by pointing out that the nail polish on her toenails matched the nail polish on my mother's fingernails, which made my mother point out that her nails matched the color of my father's phone. They all thought this to be truly magical. (No, seriously.) I just sat watching, laughing, and drinking in the sweet chaos of my family when Mallory stopped talking and squeezed my hand, saying, "Camille doesn't match anyone.... Yet."
Everyone just giggled. My mom said she'd paint my nails to match everyone else once we got home. It seemed I was the only one who had caught something deeper in that. Camille doesn't match anyone... Yet. I'd never quite heard it like that before. You see all those commercials for Match.com or ads flashing Let us find your perfect match!, and you cant help but wonder. (Well, at least I can't.) What does it take to be someone's match?
I'm a huge musical fan and PROUD of it. One that I simply adore is Fiddler On The Roof. There's one particular scene where the three sisters are all singing about their perfect (and not so perfect) 'matches'. You know the song... Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find, catch me a catch! ....Well if you didn't know, thats how it goes. I always think of that song when I hear the word 'match'.
The title song choice for this blog is Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson. (If you haven't heard her new album, which is titled Everybody, please go listen to it.) This song puts me in a great mood and makes complete sense.
Everybody, everbody wants to love.
Everybody, everbody wants to be loved.
Oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh.
Hah, I just sang that out loud and my cats looked at me like I'm crazy. I'm sure its only because of how great of a singer I am. (:
So the point of this blog was-So what? So what if you don't match anyone. Maybe you're not supposed to. Keep going as you are. If you change yourself to match someone now, then when your real match comes along, how will they know? (Deep, right?)
So yeah. Everybody wants to love, and everybody wants to be loved, and everybody wants someone who they match. Everybody should just chill, in my opinion. Turn on some good tunes and relax. You'll know when you find your match. Changing doesn't make them come any faster. Promise (: Besides- Playing with matches, a girl could get burned.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
All I Need-Bethany Dillon.
Well hey there. Camille, here. So my mother had this crazy dream about me starting this blog and helping readers through life and truly felt that I should give it a shot. So I'm like, "Well it can't hurt, right?"
So here we are. Unless no one is reading this. In that case, here I am. Oh well.
Today's kind of a lonely day, anyway. Oh sweet Valentines Day! How you shower the world with love! Nothing gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling quite like watching people write love letters with their checkbooks. Now, many of you may believe that I'm just a lonely, old, cynical woman who's never been kissed and hates Valentines day because of it... okay, you got 3 outta 4. (I'm not really that old, although sometimes it sure feels like it.) I just wish people could appreciate and show love towards those who mean the most to them everyday, not just on February 14th. And you know its true. People put alot more thought in today than than they put into last Thursday. Unless last Thursday was your birthday or something, in which case I wish you a Belated Birthday.
I will say something positive about Valentines Day this year, though. It fell on a Sunday. To some of you, it may seem just like any other day, but to me it makes the holiday seem so much more meaningful. Why? Simple: God is Love. He is the very embodiment of humanity's greatest emotion. What better day to celebrate His great love? That's why I've chosen All I Need by Bethany Dillon for this blogs title. Its days like these, when I'm feeling terribly lonely watching others receive gifts and spend time with that special someone while I'm left very much alone and bereft, that I grasp the true meaning of this song. He is all I need. There's no small print that reads: this song only applies to those who have everything in their life put together and have found the one person in the whole world who wants to share it with them.
Yeahhh if that entire statement were true, this song wouldn't apply to anyone. (Sorry if you read that statement and thought, "Hey that's me!" 'cause its not 'cause you're not perfect. I say this sincerely, and for your own good.) It can hold meaning for the father struggling to find a job, any job, even one he hates, just so he can keep his family warm and safe. For the mother who does everything in her power to make sure her children know what it means to be a family. For the 17-year-old girl who goes to bed at night thinking, Why? Why is this happening to me? How could You let this come to be? I thought You loved me.
Yeah that last one was me. I'm not ashamed to say so. I'm also not ashamed to say that these doubts run regularly through my mind. Only one thing can possibly get me out of bed each morning. And that's the Truth.
You are all I need when I'm surrounded,
You are all I need when I'm by myself,
You fill me when I'm empty,
There is nothing else,
YOU'RE ALL I NEED.
Happy Valentines Day, guys. Hope this gave you a bit of Hope. Lord knows we all could use some. catch ya next week.
So here we are. Unless no one is reading this. In that case, here I am. Oh well.
Today's kind of a lonely day, anyway. Oh sweet Valentines Day! How you shower the world with love! Nothing gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling quite like watching people write love letters with their checkbooks. Now, many of you may believe that I'm just a lonely, old, cynical woman who's never been kissed and hates Valentines day because of it... okay, you got 3 outta 4. (I'm not really that old, although sometimes it sure feels like it.) I just wish people could appreciate and show love towards those who mean the most to them everyday, not just on February 14th. And you know its true. People put alot more thought in today than than they put into last Thursday. Unless last Thursday was your birthday or something, in which case I wish you a Belated Birthday.
I will say something positive about Valentines Day this year, though. It fell on a Sunday. To some of you, it may seem just like any other day, but to me it makes the holiday seem so much more meaningful. Why? Simple: God is Love. He is the very embodiment of humanity's greatest emotion. What better day to celebrate His great love? That's why I've chosen All I Need by Bethany Dillon for this blogs title. Its days like these, when I'm feeling terribly lonely watching others receive gifts and spend time with that special someone while I'm left very much alone and bereft, that I grasp the true meaning of this song. He is all I need. There's no small print that reads: this song only applies to those who have everything in their life put together and have found the one person in the whole world who wants to share it with them.
Yeahhh if that entire statement were true, this song wouldn't apply to anyone. (Sorry if you read that statement and thought, "Hey that's me!" 'cause its not 'cause you're not perfect. I say this sincerely, and for your own good.) It can hold meaning for the father struggling to find a job, any job, even one he hates, just so he can keep his family warm and safe. For the mother who does everything in her power to make sure her children know what it means to be a family. For the 17-year-old girl who goes to bed at night thinking, Why? Why is this happening to me? How could You let this come to be? I thought You loved me.
Yeah that last one was me. I'm not ashamed to say so. I'm also not ashamed to say that these doubts run regularly through my mind. Only one thing can possibly get me out of bed each morning. And that's the Truth.
You are all I need when I'm surrounded,
You are all I need when I'm by myself,
You fill me when I'm empty,
There is nothing else,
YOU'RE ALL I NEED.
Happy Valentines Day, guys. Hope this gave you a bit of Hope. Lord knows we all could use some. catch ya next week.
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